Walking, thinking ...

Just got back from a 90-minute walk sround Brooklyn. I love walking ... it's definitely my favorite form of exercise, and I've been doing a LOT of it since I have been on maternity leave. I've also had a lot on mind, and walking around with the stroller is a great place to think. Kind of like the shower. Anyway, on my mind:

- My return to work. I go back in 2 weeks! I will have been out for ~3 months. The time has really flown by. I love spending time with my little buddy, but I am looking forward to returning to work. It's hard not to feel a little guilty about this.

- The pounds. Yeah, I guess most new moms have this problem. This is related to my 90 minute walk and my return to work, because guess what? my work clothes don't really fit. I still need to lose 15 pounds to get back to my pre-mommy weight. And I had wanted to lose 10 back then, so really I'm setting a 25 lb goal. That's a lot to fathom ... I feel relatively skinny in my sweatpants, but I guess the scale doesn't lie. And let's be honest, I did not gain 25 lbs of muscle.

- Daycare. We start "transitioning" this week. I'm going to bring him for a few 1/2 days this week and next. It's a good idea; My first day back at work will be hard enough without adding the stress of daycare drop off. I'm nervous!

- Breastfeeding. Still doing it, but I introduced him to formula this weekend. Again, feeling conflicted and guilty. My plan is to breast feed in the morning and night, and let him have formula during the day at daycare. Theoretically, I could could pump enough milk to provide enough for the daycare, but this would require pumping at least once, probably twice, during the day at work. I don't want to do that ... which of course makes me feel a little selfish and guess what, guilty. (Side note: I thought this was going to help with the pounds, but so far has not. I think the breastfeeding/weight loss connection is overhyped!)

There are certainly perks, but also a lot of guilt in this mommy business! Getting it off my mind and onto the page (screen?) usually helps me.

This is my first post in a while, and this blog never really got off the ground. The obvious thing that happened since then and now: I had a baby! Our son was born in April and is practically perfect in every way. I'm sure I'll have plenty to say about him another time.