Resolutions

I’ve been thinking about some goals for 2009, but first I thought I would look back at my 2008 goals and see how I did.

Money Goals
1. File taxes early this year.

Grade: A. I filed in March …good thing, because I had a baby the first week of April!

2. Track spending.

Grade: A-. I’m definitely missing some cash and DH’s spending, but I made big strides this year. I thought I would try Quicken or Mint.com, but I did it all in a spreadsheet, which actually worked out pretty well. We used a debit card for most purchases made things easier, and I dutifully downloaded account activity monthly. The amount we spent was shocking (!), but seeing it in black and white helped me identify places to save.

3. Save for Retirement / Max out both of our 401Ks.

Grade: A. Although, with the drop in market value, I almost wish I had used this $ to pay down some kind of debt. Oh well ….

4. Pay off all debt with an interest rate exceeding 6%.

Grade: B. We paid off over $12K on our Home Depot card, which was used to finance new windows at 0% interest. Yay! But I racked up a balance of $5K on the personal card I use for business expenses. Boo!

4. Increase earned income by 25%.

Grade: A However this was from a REALLY low base in 2007. I made 2 times what I made in 2008 back in 2008. AND, I just got laid off. Sigh. But the goal was to beat 2007, and I did by 49%. (And in 11 months – I took one month unpaid maternity leave!)

5. Open up a 529 Plan for the boy.

Grade: A. DH’s parents contributed a nice chunk to get it started, and we have been automatically contributing $50 per month.

6. Buy a home in Brooklyn - or not. The objective was really only to monitor the situation, which we did. We actually moved to a new rental with more space at the same price. Grade: B.

7. Establish a 12-month Emergency Fund.

Grade: D. So NOT done. Although we still have maybe a six month cushion, we really didn’t save any new money, and the investments we had lost value. Sigh.


Personal Goals
1. Health. Cook at home 4x per week and cut my sugar intake. (Will need help from DH here). Exercise 4x a week for at least 20 minutes. (This sounds modest, but hey, I’m pregnant.) Reach pre-pregnancy weight by the end of the year.

Grade: B. We ate at home a LOT more this year, in part because of the baby, in part to save money. The new neighborhood Trader Joe’s helped a lot! Hmm, I am less than 10 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight. Not ideal, but at least I fit into my old clothes! And I kept exercising up until maybe a few weeks before DS was born. Definitely proud of that.

2. Marriage. Take a trip together (maybe just a weekend) sans baby. Eat dinner together nightly - exceptions for friends, work stuff, etc are ok. Do outdoorsy things together - going for walks, bike rides and to the beach are always good times.

Grade: B+. We’ve had a few dinner “dates”, and that it good enough so far.

3. Friends & Family. Stay in touch. Email my email friends. Call the 'rents. Host a get together sometime this year. Go to my college reunion.

Grade: B+. Never did have that party, but did make an effort in the other areas.

Daycare Day 1

Well, we started “transitioning” to daycare this week. DS stayed at daycare from 10-3 on Wednesday and Thursday this week. He was perfectly fine, but his mommy was a nervous wreck!

So the first big hurdle is getting there. We live in Brooklyn, but the daycare center is in Midtown, near my office. Both are pretty centrally located, and we have several different options on the subway. I have been a little stressed about taking him on the subway – crowded, dirty and germy places aren’t great for babies. But it really is the most efficient way to get from A to B. So my baby had his first ride on the subway this week. I carry Purell and try not to touch anything.

On day one (Wednesday), we left the apartment a tiny bit late, and headed out with DS in the stroller/carseat combination. As luck would have it, a taxi pulled up and I grabbed it in lieu of the train. Thirty minutes and $25 later, we arrived right on time at 10:00. Yeah, we can't afford to do that every day.

DH met us there, since we had an “intake” meeting on our first day. They showed us around and asked us questions about his schedule, health, etc. Although there are older kids there, DS will stay in a room with 7 other infants. Three adults are assigned, and two are always in the room (one at a time can sign out for breaks). He has a little cubby with spaces for his diapers, bottles, extra set of clothes, etc. There is a common area where some of the kids are crawling around and he’ll hang out, but he has his own crib for naps. Every day I get a sheet with a record of the times he ate, slept and had his diaper changed. Nothing’s perfect, but I do feel like they know what they are doing, have systems in place, and really like kids. Sigh … I stayed and fed him and rocked him for a while anyway; it was hard to leave.

He was sleeping when I came to pick him up at 3, and we took the R train home to Brooklyn. He slept like an angel, but taking the stroller on the subway is a bit of a nightmare – very few stations have elevators. So you have to either rely on the kindness of strangers to lift one end of the carriage on the stairs or pick up the whole thing yourself. I did both on our way home, but this is not easy, and will be even worse in work clothes and God forbid, high heels.

On Thursday morning, I carried him in the Baby Bjorn. DS rode the subway strapped to me, face out to the world. He likes to look around (and there was plenty of exciting things to look at), but it was strange for me. Some people smile and ask me how old he is, but others says nothing and just kind of stare at his face/my chest. Having strangers just stare across the aisle at your baby for an entire 30 minute train ride is a little disconcerting. He is just so darn cute, strangers can’t resist him! Unfortunately, the most direct route between the subway stop and the daycare center is basically right through the set for the Today Show. It wasn’t bad at 10 am (although there were still a lot of tourists milling around), but at 7:30 am, the time I will typically come through, I think it will be a problem.

I got my haircut, did some window shopping, ate lunch and went to the gym. He was awake and pretty good-natured when I picked him up at 3:00. We took a different train home, an option which tends to be more crowded, but is faster and is in the opposite direction from the Today Show crowd. Someone gave me his seat – I guess I look like I need one even more now than I did when I was pregnant. He slept the whole way – I think he was worn out from all the excitement.

We are still working out the kinks, but it is going to be OK. I am actually looking forward to going back to work, and he is close enough that I can visit during the day.

PS. One more piece of news: he started sleeping through the night – the whole night, from 7 pm to 6 am – this week! I guess our baby is almost all grown up …

Walking, thinking ...

Just got back from a 90-minute walk sround Brooklyn. I love walking ... it's definitely my favorite form of exercise, and I've been doing a LOT of it since I have been on maternity leave. I've also had a lot on mind, and walking around with the stroller is a great place to think. Kind of like the shower. Anyway, on my mind:

- My return to work. I go back in 2 weeks! I will have been out for ~3 months. The time has really flown by. I love spending time with my little buddy, but I am looking forward to returning to work. It's hard not to feel a little guilty about this.

- The pounds. Yeah, I guess most new moms have this problem. This is related to my 90 minute walk and my return to work, because guess what? my work clothes don't really fit. I still need to lose 15 pounds to get back to my pre-mommy weight. And I had wanted to lose 10 back then, so really I'm setting a 25 lb goal. That's a lot to fathom ... I feel relatively skinny in my sweatpants, but I guess the scale doesn't lie. And let's be honest, I did not gain 25 lbs of muscle.

- Daycare. We start "transitioning" this week. I'm going to bring him for a few 1/2 days this week and next. It's a good idea; My first day back at work will be hard enough without adding the stress of daycare drop off. I'm nervous!

- Breastfeeding. Still doing it, but I introduced him to formula this weekend. Again, feeling conflicted and guilty. My plan is to breast feed in the morning and night, and let him have formula during the day at daycare. Theoretically, I could could pump enough milk to provide enough for the daycare, but this would require pumping at least once, probably twice, during the day at work. I don't want to do that ... which of course makes me feel a little selfish and guess what, guilty. (Side note: I thought this was going to help with the pounds, but so far has not. I think the breastfeeding/weight loss connection is overhyped!)

There are certainly perks, but also a lot of guilt in this mommy business! Getting it off my mind and onto the page (screen?) usually helps me.

This is my first post in a while, and this blog never really got off the ground. The obvious thing that happened since then and now: I had a baby! Our son was born in April and is practically perfect in every way. I'm sure I'll have plenty to say about him another time.

Childcare

Our baby is due April 15th. I will likely be back at work about 8-10 weeks later. I have come to realize that I can't leave him at home with the cat. So I have diligently been looking into daycare.

It's freaking impossible! First of all, very few places take young babies. From a list of least 50 places, only around 5 take babies under 6 months. I had never realized this -- the first of many rude awakenings, I'm sure. Of those, they all seem to have waiting list of over a year. I am on one waiting list for a place near my office which may be ready in ~4 months. So that could work out. But the cost -- brace yourself - is $2500/month. Hyperventilating .... Also, although it sounds convenient to be really close to work (maybe I can even breastfeed during the day), it means bringing baby to Manhattan. Baby on the subway is a recipe for germs and something I wanted to avoid as long as possible. It's depressing.

I thought daycare would be a better choice for us because my job is actually somewhat flexible, and I may be able to work from home 1-2 days a week. So, I'm not sure a full-time nanny would make sense. A nanny is more expensive, and I don't want to pay a part-time nanny for full-time work. Also, I like the idea that there are checks and balances, and as baby gets older, there is an aspect of social development. However, with the dearth of baby daycare, maybe we will get a nanny for the first year or two after all. I started looking into it. It's all very difficult.

Don't believe me? It's about kindergarten, not daycare, but it's all related. Check out this story from Bloomberg.com

`Crazy Friday' Hits for New York Kindergarten Parents

By Beth Jinks

Feb. 15 (Bloomberg) -- Parental anxiety in New York rises a notch for today's annual ``Crazy Friday'' as the city's private kindergartens issue decisions that may launch youngsters toward Harvard, Yale or Princeton, or not.

Letters, e-mails and phone calls from schools today will say ``accepted,'' ``rejected'' or ``wait-listed.'' Then the kindergarten shuffle begins, with parents balancing waiting-list spots at their top choices against acceptances at so-called safety schools.

Many parents submitted more than a dozen applications to raise their child's chances, according to New York education advisers. The application flood means some of the $28,000-a-year schools including Brearley, Spence, Collegiate and Dalton in Manhattan have more than 10 contenders for each desk, with competition fiercest for about 2,500 prized seats at the most- sought schools.

``Everybody wants to go the same 15 schools, but they don't have 500 kindergarten places. They have 30 to 60,'' said Amanda Uhry, who charges $15,000 to help families through the admissions process. ``It's like a parental feeding frenzy. You can't buy your way in. If you've got $5 billion, there's probably somebody who is applying who has $10 billion.''

The Trevor Day School in Manhattan had 600 applicants for 64 spots, up 15 percent from 2007, a trend repeated elsewhere, said Deborah Ashe, a board member of the Independent School Admission Association of Greater New York and Trevor's application director.

Legacy Kids

Some spots go to children graduating from the schools' preschool programs, others to ``legacy'' kids whose siblings or other relatives attended the same kindergarten. That leaves precious few spaces for parents trying to secure a kindergarten that will guarantee their child's prep-school path, according to Ashe and Uhry.

``Families are in the middle of the, `Where-am-I-going-to- get-in' panic, it's Crazy Friday,'' Cynthia Bing of the nonprofit Parents League of New York said in a phone interview. Her group offers online resources free to anyone and personal advice and workshops for members, who join for $120 a year.

The ``panicked response'' has been building in recent years, Ashe said. ``We don't know if applications are going up because there's more people out there, or if there's just more panic out there.''

New York's five boroughs have 575,823 children younger than 5, according to the 2006 U.S. Census Bureau estimates, up 5.8 percent since 2001. Manhattan's under-5 population jumped 22 percent to 98,361 over the same period, reflecting high-paying jobs that keep more families in the city instead of moving to the suburbs, said Ashe.

Automatic Entry

The 2,500 slots are at 60 kindergartens of private schools that are members of New York's Independent School Admission Association. Acceptance grants children automatic entry into grade school, and can secure their place in the best private high schools. The association represents 127 New York private schools, including 112 in Manhattan.

Families must decide whether to accept admission offers by Feb. 27. If they decline, then those on the wait-list are offered the slot.

Some parents begin angling for the right kindergarten even before conceiving, Bing said.

Amanda Brokaw, a public relations executive, said she and her investment-banker husband are already studying schooling options for their 19-month-old daughter.

``I'm amazed that I'm dealing with this so early,'' she said. ``I grew up in Manhattan. Looking at the future, between the finances and competitiveness of getting in somewhere, it's causing anxiety. No sleepless nights yet, but anxiety.''

Brooklyn's Crazy, Too

It's not just crazy in Manhattan, said Ana Patel, who works for an international human rights organization and lives with her lawyer husband and 4 1/2-year-old son in Brooklyn. After applying to five schools, they won acceptance at a private kindergarten in Brooklyn Heights, where the child can continue through high school.

``You find yourself having the most inane conversations with other parents because it suddenly becomes a big deal whether they get in or not,'' Patel said. ``Do you call the head of development during the first round? Do you send her flowers? Do you send her a thank-you note? Is e-mail OK or should it be handwritten, or on some kind of stationery?''

Application fees, interviews and waiting lists are features of most private New York kindergartens, even those far down in preference lists. Parents submit essays explaining why they'll fit in with the school community, and toddlers take aptitude tests and have ``play dates'' with other hopefuls.

`Melissa Moms'

At first-come kindergartens, parents or their nannies line up before dawn on application day. Other schools began applicant lotteries to avoid the spectacle.

Uhry said that her business, Manhattan Private School Advisors, has doubled since 2005 to about 1,400 families and that 2009 will be the most competitive yet. The key, she said, is selling your family and customizing each application to fit the school's criteria.

``You don't want to look like every other person who lives on the Upper East or Upper West Side. The husband works on Wall Street, probably for Goldman Sachs, the wife doesn't work any more, her name is Melissa, she's 40 years old, has a 2-year-old kid and wears those pants with the word `Juicy' across the butt,'' Uhry said. ``You know how many of those `Melissa Moms' we see around here?''

To contact the reporter on this story: Beth Jinks in New York at bjinks1@bloomberg.net

Massive expenditures in January

So I spent a good portion of the weekend creating a monthly budget for 2008, and figuring out exactly what we spent in January. Also did a calculation of our current net worth. Hopefully February will be easier now that I have all my lovely spreadsheets set up.

We spent SO SO SO much $$ in January. But it was mostly by design. I chose to front load a ton of expenses, just so we would start the year of right. These include:
- Pay off of our joint CC debt ($8000 - yay!)
- Pay off of my individual CC debt ($5000 - yay!)
- Property taxes for the full year
- Car insurance for the full year (saves $100+ annually by paying upfront instead of monthly)
- DH paid off one of his student loans (the smallest one, but it had the highest rate)
- We bought a crib and dresser for the little one on debit ($1000)

As a result of all this activity, we feel exceedingly broke. But I love that we won't see any finance charges next month!

Speaking of broke, do you have any idea how much daycare costs? I looked at a place this week that will run us close to $2500/month. (Hyperventilating...) This was near my office in Midtown, and I put my name on the waiting list anyway. Looking for a place in Brooklyn too. Sigh. This baby is coming,, and I don't feel ready ....

Am I being oversensitive?

I've been having sciatic nerve pain throughout my pregnancy, and as a result, I started seeing a chiropractor. I'm a little skeptical of chiropractors, it has definitely helped me, and I like this guy. Just a little background information to explain the situation.

In the course of idle chitchat, he asked me what I was planning to do for maternity leave. I don't actually know yet, but currently I am thinking that I will take 8 weeks off, and then return to work 3 days a week. He said his wife wanted to stay home and is still at home. Then he said, "From everything I've read about child psychology, staying home is really best for the child." I mumbled something like, "Well, that's not going to work for me."

I walked out feeling criticized and judged. Is he saying I'm not doing the best best thing for my child? How dare he! I told DH about this, and he said it sounded like the guy wishes his wife would go back to work. So maybe I am being oversensitive . . .

Sigh. One thing I've noticed about pregnancy -- everyone has an opinion.

Looking for ways to cut costs

My budget exercise revealed that we are spending more than I thought. So I'm looking for ways to cut costs. Here are some of the most obvious and hopefully easy ones:

#1 - Cut off our phone service. This isn't as drastic as it sounds, we both use our cell phones anyway and have for years. The only reason I even got it is because there was some kind of special deal when we moved if we got cable, internet and phone in one package. I never give out the number, and have only used it a handful of times.

#2 - Save on work lunches. Now that I'm pregnant, I find I am happiest if I eat small meals every few hours. So although I eat breakfast at home, I get "second breakfast" around 9:30-10, lunch around 12 and a snack in the afternoon. It's just lazy to buy a yogurt parfait for $3.50 at the rip-off cafe in the lobby and go out to lunch every day. Afternoon snack is usually fruit. Anyway, I easily spend $15 a day on all this food, which is $75/week or $300/month! Planning ahead and bringing food should save me at least 1/2 this amount, which is substantial.

#3 - I've declared a moratorium on clothes shopping until May. I can honestly say that I don't really need anything at the moment, and it's just stupid to buy things when I change sizes every week. I actually have a $100 store credit at the Gap right now, which I can use in case of "emergency" for maternity tights, nursing bras, or baby clothes (which I figure gifts will get me started anyway).

I've got the day off today for the MLK holiday, and I am working on cancelling the phone. Cablevision does not make it easy! I pay my bills online and tried to find a way to make a change online. No way, Jose. There are plenty of links to upgrades, however. Finally, I called, after a search for a phone number on the website. I talked to the someone pretty quickly who took my account number and basic info. But to cancel my phone, she had to transfer me to the "disconnect department" and said I may be put on hold for the next available operator. It's been 30 minutes! Not sure if I should hang up or if this is just how they "get you" -- make it so hard to cancel that people give up. It IS a holiday, but the message says they are available 7 days a week, so would they really be shut down today? Oh well, I'll keep holding for now; I'm surfing the Internet anyway.